“Reluctant love is the experience of loving someone with your entire soul, even when your logical mind tells you it would be much safer not to. It is a love that refuses to die, lingering deep in the fibers of your being.” It's the tugging on the spiritual umbilical cord that connects a mother and her baby forever, while the flesh still pushes away. Two souls trapped behind the walls of human caution. Shame initiates the push, grief maximizes the pull. It's reluctant love. Th

I dreamt of you, again Saw your eyes while mine were closed I felt you in my space Felt the warmth beneath my soul I struggle with possibilities Could I have gotten this so wrong? Am I confusing realities? Did I stray too far from home? Heart flutters and palpitates Not the same as my wedding day More like when I birthed my cubs But in reverse, if I must say Not like they birthed me But I was born, birthed somehow Nestled deep within you As God configured my smile What joy it

This is a letter I wrote for the woman I believe is my birth mother—on her birthday. It’s full of hope, honesty, and the ache of years apart